Interuppted Tranquility
by Harley-Cat
Summary: It is bedtime at the Joker's hideout...that is if a certain someone doesen't get in his way.


(Characters belong to D.C)

Their new hideout only had one bed.

It wasn't the type of bed that was good for two, of course not; it was as tiny as could be, lumpy mattress and all.

They had only been there for a week, he working tediously at his plans and she, polishing the weapons and creating anything possible to annoy him with.

"Puddin'? When are you gonna stop? Are you gonna sleep soon? When are we gonna get Batsy?"

On and on, never leaving him alone to peace.

Sometimes, she came in with food for him, kissing him heartily on the cheek, hinting silently that she wanted some excitement from him.

He had two options to settle her whines: beat her to a pulp for the night or ignore her altogether. The first usually did the trick. Work was more important, anyway.

Finally, on the seventh day of writing out his plans, he finished with full satisfaction, prompting cheers from the henchmen and his dear, daffy dame.

Yawning slowly, he shooed off the Henches and made way for the bedroom, hoping that this would be the chance to get some decidedly much-needed rest.

He rarely ever slept, sleeping only when he was in a reasonable mood, letting Harley snuggle with him only when he felt obligated. Harley usually slept at his side or in her own bed in another room.

No such luck for her tonight: only one bed.

Chuckling at this thought, he shuffled to the bed, Harley running at his heels like a giddy puppy, at bliss that her darling boyfriend was happy with his work.

Her smile was wiped away when she saw the bed.

He grinned at her as he put on his nightgown.

"Sorry, Harls. Daddy really needs his shut-eye. Be a pet and sleep elsewhere."

She frowned sulkily, perhaps noticing that the bed was too small for…movement.

"Can I sleep nearby? I mean like at the end of the bed? You won't even know I'm there."

He chuckled to himself at her hopeless infatuation of him.

He enjoyed being an addicting drug.

"Sorry, punkin. How 'bout the floor? Really cozy."

That was meant to be a joke, of course, but the ditzy female only smiled happily and collapsed at the side of the bed on the hard, wooden floor.

"A-okay, Mistah J! I'll just sleep here."

He quirked an eyebrow, unable to fathom how a person could be so childishly in love.

Lying back in the creaky bed, he let his thoughts drift towards the Batman and how surprised he would be when he gave him the next big punch line. Boy, would he be in a heap of trouble!

Closing his eyes, Joker could see it; Batman's face working and thinking as Joker nearly sliced off his head from one of his slinky-blades. Batman would certainly have one hell of a problem when he went against Joker's violent-made toys. Harley would probably swing at old Batsy with her big hammer or something. Joker would just laugh to his hearts content…and…and…

Someone was poking him.

Opening his eyes, Joker glared at his shivering girlfriend, her lips pressed together in a child-like pout.

"Sorry, Puddin'. I didn't mean to wake ya. It's just that I'm so cold. Do ya maybe think that I could just squeeze in with you? Pretty please?"

Ugh. The stupid brat had woken him up just because she was a little chilly. Sometimes he just couldn't stand her.

"C'mon, Harl. Daddy needs his sleepy-time. Go sleep with the hyenas if your so cold. Their fur will keep you warm."

"But…but…"

He sighed and shoved down on the floor roughly, relishing her tiny moans of pain.

"No 'buts'. Go to sleep."

Settling back under the covers, Joker began to dream about his tangle with Batman again.

He could almost hear Batman's pained shriek as he got whacked with the spiked basketball or when the demonic doll bit him squarely on the leg. That would be fun.

Someone was poking him again.

He sat up in a rage, whirling his fist on Harley's stomach.

"WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

"I-I'm s-sorry P-Puddin'. I'm j-just so cold. P-please, can't I come up w-with you? Pwease?"

God, that baby tone!

Not even bothering to answer her, he rolled over on his side and turned his back on her. Leaving her to shiver pathetically on the floor.

Dreaming again, Batman was frantically trying to reach for a weapon, only succeeding in getting his arm chopped clean off. Joker could almost feel himself roaring with hysterical laughter.

And then, not poking but the whole world _moving_. Someone was getting on the bed with him. Joker awakened to find Harley sound asleep on the foot of the bed; her arms curled affectionately around one of his legs, a blissful smile playing on her lips.

He could always beat her now, scolding her for not obeying his rules, but he was simply too tired to bother. She looked simply too cute, sleeping at his feet like a dog. His would punish her in the morning. That would be a good compromise.

Whimpering softly in her sleep, Harley tightened her grip around his leg, causing him to giggle softly in the darkness as he leaned back to reach slumber again. How could he resist?

"Nighty-night, you silly twit."

He returned to his dreams of chaos and for the moment, the two clowns were at peace.


End file.
